Today I was in a Crossfit class and we were all warming up as a group. One of the warm ups was to compete against everyone else in the class using the rower machine. I turned to the girl next to me and said laughing "I'm so nervous I have butterflies". She replied and asked why, and I said that I really wanted to win. She turned to me with a smile and said "Don't be nervous, it's good that you are competitive". This was a one of those lightbulb moments in my life where I thought 'wow, I really am where I want to be'.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I have had people try to talk me out of my dreams and not fully understand why I am doing what I'm doing. My dreams are currently to travel, live a fitness lifestyle, work remotely and move to Canada (end of November 2018). "But what will you do after all of that?", "What about buying a house?", "Where will you live afterwards?". I don't have the answers to any of these, though I do have a rough plan but we all know they never work out anyway. I told myself years ago I would never give in to what people think I should be doing verses what I want to be doing. Call me stubborn, it's just who I am. Without tooting my own horn, today I call myself a successful young woman. I have moved cities, started a business, worked in elite sport, bought a car, cook for myself & brush my teeth twice a day every day. Absolute weapon. But, to others this may not seem as successful as it does to me.
What is success? The question should be 'what does success mean to you?'. It could be your salary, your car, your squat max, your bender record or having a family. Everyone's meaning of success is different, therefore everyone's path is different and not there for you to judge or tell them otherwise. Thinking about what success means to you, picture what your Authentic Success is. Success that is authentic to you and your goals & morals. Authentic success should feel like a 'downstream effort', meaning that whatever you are doing to reach what ever goal you want should feel effortless and as if time doesn't exist. To get to this downstream effort, think about your values and how you want to feel every day. So you value time in the gym because #shredlife, but your work is 8am-6pm and when you get to the gym you're too exhausted to even begin to live the shred life. The answer - quit. Easier said than done, but really not that hard. Want to gym in the middle of the day? Get a job that starts at 3pm and finishes at 11pm. This example can be used in many situations, but will be individual to you.
NB: This might sound super unrealistic to most of you, but believe me there are worse things in the world than quitting your job or moving cities. Your values, dreams and happiness should always be your first priority.
If you ever feel like you are in an 'upstream effort', meaning that you feel like you are trying so hard to get somewhere but not gaining any progress, ask yourself 'is this a time in my life where upstream effort is necessary?'. There will be times when you need to put in the hard yards - completing your masters, training for an event, saving up for your first born child. These are all motivations for you to keep going upstream, it is only when your values change (you no longer want your masters, the event no longer interests you) that you can confidently tell yourself to stop & revaluate where you want to be going.
Since a young age we are taught that 'nothing comes easy' and 'if it were easy everyone would be doing it'. I disagree completely. Lots of things come easy (your ex) and not everyone is doing it because not everyone has the same values! Lots of people are working 9-5 for the government, does that make it easy? (Haha, paper pushers).
If you are trying hard and you aren't sure where you are going, take a minute to think about your values and how you are feeling. Are you pushing paper for the government and feel fucking ecstatic? KOUDOS! Are you working at a restaurant part time and going to the beach every weekend barely affording your phone bill and feel on top of the world? GREAT! You do you. I will always encourage people to chase their dreams because every time I talk to someone about their life they are either a) complaining, b) telling me they want to quit their job or c) telling me their future plans of a magnificent life. What the fuck are you waiting for? A new prime minister? You better hurry up because there's always a change on the horizon!
When was the last time you got butterflies?
PS. Move more, move better
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