Defined by Urban Dictionary as:
'When the “crush” has no intentions of taking things further. So they flirt here or there, send dm/texts just to keep the person interested, knowing damn well they’re staying single.'
Ahh, how good is dating in 2018? You get to swipe to your hearts content, and at the end of the night you get to turn off your phone and you never even have to talk to or meet anyone you matched with. It's the ultimate ego boost, but... it's getting old. I can't even tell you the amount of times I've deleted and re-downloaded a dating app just because I was bored at home and wanted the attention (just being real). After a few matches you get your confidence up to message one of the lucky fellas, flirt a little, pretend to organise a catch up and then bam. Your needs are fulfilled and you can go about the next week and a half satisfied that you could have had a date Saturday night but chose to ignore the messages because #effort.
What happens when that one guy slips through the fool-proof cracks of online dating... and you actually go on a date? Strange concept, I know, but it happens. You meet at your favourite bar (chosen by you being closely situated to home in case of emergency escape or accidental drunkenness) and things go great. You like the same things, you laugh, drink an abundance of espresso martinis and at the end of the night he kisses you on the cheek and says he hopes to see you again. Perfect right? Claps for not sleeping with him and claps for not over-doing it on the cocktails. A second date is on the horizon!
Date number 2 comes around and this time it's a day date - because everyone knows that by at least date number three you have needed to be seen in daylight together to ensure there is zero weirdness. This day date is to get a coffee (again, at your local coffee shop for pure convenience this time) and to catch up on the last couple of weeks, which is how long it's been since the last time you saw each other. The coffee is great, the banter is top notch and your hair flicking status is peaking (not too much, but not too little). This time when the date is over, a peck on the lips is exchanged with a hug and goodbye & a 'let's do this another time, message me when you're free'. For the record - not my favourite line, but it's better than 'I'm really sorry I've got to run, I have another date in 20 minutes'. Cringe.
A week passes and you hear nothing, so you decide to message him. You exchange some chat but nothing of significance, and he says he's really busy at work so he won't be able to catch up soon. Fine, he's busy at work making money for your future family, it's so fine. This back and forth messaging happens for a few weeks before it completely stops all together. Until he likes your new Insta pic (he must have turned the notifications on for your profile because it was super fast). You think 'ooo! I still have a chance with this guy, he's giving me mild attention through social media IT MUST BE LOVE!' Don't laugh at this because we have all been there (unless you have been in a relationship since before social media and in that case I envy you). The breadcrumbing begins.
A flirtatious comment on a picture, a DM about your Insta story and the odd 'thinking of you' text message that leads to zero in-person contact. How does this even work? Why is it that a stupid emoji keeps us interested in one person that we met online and went on two dates with? (One was a day date, nonetheless, but still!) It's time to bite the bullet - it's time to ask them out on a third date two months after your day date. This is intense. What emoji do I use?
Date number three comes around and it's a dinner date (an upgrade from date number one which was just drinks, and date number two which was just coffee). Dinner at your favourite cuisine picked by him, great job *Veludo Drinks #2* (does anyone else name their dates in their phone like this? No? Ok moving on).
After date number three (massive success), you begin to recognise a pattern of no contact, mild social media banter and small talk. Is this guy leading me on? He is in fact pulling a classic 2018 move. Veludo Drinks #2 is a serial breadcrumber who's only goal is to tease with great dates and shitty small talk which includes at least three separate emoji texts. He has no actual plan of pursuing anything but this. You are attracted to the ignorance and the fact that he likes your Instagram pictures *bows head in shame*.
'That's it, I'm off him.' You think. You delete his number (or change his name to 'Veludo Drinks #2 DO NOT ANSWER') and re-download the app where it all started in preparation for another ego boost. I just wish breadcrumbing included more bread.
Is this a true story? Of course it is. Is it common? Hell yes!
Breadcrumbing is the exact reason why I only use online dating apps for an ego boost, and not for the small hope of a short or long term relationship of any kind. If there are any guys out there who are off social media, don't send emojis on a regular basis and have their life sorted - send an email to The Lazy Girl and help a sista out.
Happy Tindering & eat your carbs.
PS. Move more, move better
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